¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HW

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ö
2021-06-18 441

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Of coures, I believe that stugying in an international school and english kindergarden makes chilidren to be better than children who went to normal school in terms of English.
Usually an internatuinal school and Engilish kindergarden's tution is more expensive than a normal school. So, there are high quaility education circumstance and support. It makes diffrences of start line. However I think that government must not ban those education. Because it is foolish to pursue durmbing down for equaility. The important thing is to provide an average education for everyone.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Kim,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)




Of coures, I believe that stugying in an international school and english kindergarden makes chilidren to be better than children who went to normal school in terms of English.
>>> Of course, I believe that studying in an international school and English kindergarten makes children better than those who went to normal school in terms of English.

Usually an internatuinal school and Engilish kindergarden's tution is more expensive than a normal school. 
>>> Usually an international school and English kindergarten's tuition is more expensive than a normal school. 

So, there are high quaility education circumstance and support. 
>>> So, it's expected to have a high-quality education circumstance and support. 

It makes diffrences of start line. 
>>> It makes the differences of the starting line in English acquisition. 

However I think that government must not ban those education. Because it is foolish to pursue durmbing down for equaility. 
>>> However I think that the government must not ban that education because it is foolish to pursue dumbing down for equality. 

The important thing is to provide an average education for everyone.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108837 Moderna COVID-19 vaccine gets final nod in South Korea À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 1
108836 Have you ever had problems with your neighbors? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 2
108835 Do you like adventure? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 504
108834 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 464
108833 I play instruent when I am in my house. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 654
108832 Who are five people you are closest with? And why? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 629
108831 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 541
108830 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 6
108829 If you can sell anything from your valuable things, what would... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 566
108828 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 498
108827 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 4
108826 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 552
108825 Wedding Fee in Korea. ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 911
108824 homework Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 537
108823 Who can always comfort you? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 658
108822 Home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 477
108821 What is your favorite summer dessert? Why? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 0
108820 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 2
108819 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 1
108818 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04