¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HW

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ö
2021-06-18 444

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Of coures, I believe that stugying in an international school and english kindergarden makes chilidren to be better than children who went to normal school in terms of English.
Usually an internatuinal school and Engilish kindergarden's tution is more expensive than a normal school. So, there are high quaility education circumstance and support. It makes diffrences of start line. However I think that government must not ban those education. Because it is foolish to pursue durmbing down for equaility. The important thing is to provide an average education for everyone.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Kim,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)




Of coures, I believe that stugying in an international school and english kindergarden makes chilidren to be better than children who went to normal school in terms of English.
>>> Of course, I believe that studying in an international school and English kindergarten makes children better than those who went to normal school in terms of English.

Usually an internatuinal school and Engilish kindergarden's tution is more expensive than a normal school. 
>>> Usually an international school and English kindergarten's tuition is more expensive than a normal school. 

So, there are high quaility education circumstance and support. 
>>> So, it's expected to have a high-quality education circumstance and support. 

It makes diffrences of start line. 
>>> It makes the differences of the starting line in English acquisition. 

However I think that government must not ban those education. Because it is foolish to pursue durmbing down for equaility. 
>>> However I think that the government must not ban that education because it is foolish to pursue dumbing down for equality. 

The important thing is to provide an average education for everyone.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108790 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 670
108789 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 4
108788 Some claim that studying abroad has great benefits for a... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 631
108787 I... ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 637
108786 today\\\'s homework ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 521
108785 Homework😀 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 553
108784 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 1
108783 Cryptocurrency panic-selling wipes out 900 trillion won in 24... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 1
108782 Cultures and traditions are different in each country so what... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 2
108781 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 579
108780 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 598
108779 How do you welcome your new neighbor to your community? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 667
108778 Homewokr ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 506
108777 Homewokr ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 920
108776 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 545
108775 Home work(5.21) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 702
108774 Cultures and traditions are different in each country so what... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 573
108773 Do you think the past was better than the present? Why or why... ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 505
108772 Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 494
108771 Cultures and traditions are different in each country so what... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04