¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HW

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ö
2021-06-18 471

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Of coures, I believe that stugying in an international school and english kindergarden makes chilidren to be better than children who went to normal school in terms of English.
Usually an internatuinal school and Engilish kindergarden's tution is more expensive than a normal school. So, there are high quaility education circumstance and support. It makes diffrences of start line. However I think that government must not ban those education. Because it is foolish to pursue durmbing down for equaility. The important thing is to provide an average education for everyone.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Kim,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)




Of coures, I believe that stugying in an international school and english kindergarden makes chilidren to be better than children who went to normal school in terms of English.
>>> Of course, I believe that studying in an international school and English kindergarten makes children better than those who went to normal school in terms of English.

Usually an internatuinal school and Engilish kindergarden's tution is more expensive than a normal school. 
>>> Usually an international school and English kindergarten's tuition is more expensive than a normal school. 

So, there are high quaility education circumstance and support. 
>>> So, it's expected to have a high-quality education circumstance and support. 

It makes diffrences of start line. 
>>> It makes the differences of the starting line in English acquisition. 

However I think that government must not ban those education. Because it is foolish to pursue durmbing down for equaility. 
>>> However I think that the government must not ban that education because it is foolish to pursue dumbing down for equality. 

The important thing is to provide an average education for everyone.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108379 If you could buy only one of these two things, would you choose... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 3
108378 What other ways could you think of to greet people? ÀÌ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 846
108377 SMILE ANSWER º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 698
108376 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 749
108375 What was the best scenery you have ever seen? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 994
108374 If you will go on a trip to Mars what is 1 thing you must bring? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 894
108373 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 1
108372 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 687
108371 Tell something interesting about my city ÀÌ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 599
108370 Today\'s homework Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 810
108369 homework ³ë*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 4
108368 when was the last time you were sick? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 810
108367 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 1
108366 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 635
108365 Can we say the Internet makes the news world better? Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 735
108364 interview Q ±Ç*½Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 0
108363 homework_21.05.06 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 1
108362 What do you do after when you argue with someone? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 2
108361 How did your parents raise you? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 2
108360 Doosan heavy to extract hydrogen from plastic waste À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04