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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Where do you want to travel next? Why?

작성자: 김*수
2021-06-21 450

회원님의 영작문

I have two places to travel next. The first place is sea (Any sea is okay). I hope to feel cool wind and water. Because I really don’t like hot weather, I barely go outside in summer. However, I’m sure that I can feel the cool atmosphere when I arrive at a sea. For this reason, I go to sea once or twice times in a year, however, I can’t visit sea this year because of covid-19. So, I decided to go there for my next travel and I hope to feel a sea.
The second place is a Jeju island. I already went there, but I go to Jeju again. When I went to the island two years ago, I was inconvenience without a car. However, I can rent a car in this year, I can enjoy happy time at the island with my acquaintances. I’ve also met nice people at there, I expect I can encounter people who make good memories with me. Jeju island is a meaningful place to me, so I hope to go there again.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Ria! I had a wonderful time talking with you earlier. You seem to be a motivated person. Keep up the good work!-Faith-
I have two places to travel next. 
>>  CORRECT
OR  I have two travel destinations on my next trip. 
The first place is sea (Any sea is okay). 
>> The first place is on a beach. 
I hope to feel cool wind and water. 
>> I hope to feel the cool wind and water. 
Because I really don’t like hot weather, I barely go outside in summer. 
>> Because I really don’t like hot weather, that's why I barely go outside in summer. 
However, I’m sure that I can feel the cool atmosphere when I arrive at a sea. 
>>CORRECT
For this reason, I go to sea once or twice times in a year, however, I can’t visit sea this year because of covid-19. 
>> For this reason, I go to a beach once or twice a year, however, I can’t do it this year because of covid-19. 
So, I decided to go there for my next travel and I hope to feel a sea.
>> So, I decided to go there for my next travel and I hope to feel its sea breeze.
The second place is a Jeju island. 
>> The second place is  Jeju Island. 
I already went there, but I go to Jeju again. 
>> I already went there, but I will go there again. 
When I went to the island two years ago, I was inconvenience without a car. 
>> When I went to the island two years ago, I felt the inconvenience without a car. 
However, I can rent a car in this year, I can enjoy happy time at the island with my acquaintances. 
>> However, I can rent a car this year, I can enjoy my time on the island with my acquaintances. 
I’ve also met nice people at there, I expect I can encounter people who make good memories with me. 
>> I also met nice people there, so I expect I can encounter people who can make good memories with me. 
Jeju island is a meaningful place to me, so I hope to go there again.
>> CORRECT
OR Jeju island means a lot to me so I look forward to returning there.
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