¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homewokr

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¹ü
2021-06-21 281

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Medical science should take credit for the longevity.

Longevity is blessing but it brings about several anxious.

First, we have to worry about the problem of finance.

As order, income decreases and it is difficult to find job.

So many people learn financial technology.

Second We have to worry about the desease.

An old men might contract a desease easily.

So many people are interest in medical treatment system.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Chris!  Thank you for taking the time to express your idea about this topic. ^^
T. Irene
Medical science should take credit for the longevity.
>>> Correct. 
Longevity is blessing but it brings about several anxious.
>>> Longevity is a blessing but it brings about several problems.
First, we have to worry about the problem of finance.
>>> First, we have to worry about finances.
As order, income decreases and it is difficult to find job.
>>> These days, many people lost a lot of their income and for others, it's hard to find a job. 
So many people learn financial technology.
>>> So many people have to manage their finances. 
Second We have to worry about the desease.
>>> Second, we have to worry about diseases.
An old men might contract a desease easily.
>>> Old people are at high risk to get sick because of their age. 
So many people are interest in medical treatment system.
>>> So, many people are dependent on the medical treatment system. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109135 What do you think it feels like to fulfill a lifelong ambition? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-05 846
109134 China allows couples to have 3 children: state media À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-05 1
109133 Are you fascinated by cars? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 4
109132 Difference between English and Korean language. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 318
109131 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 3
109130 Homework (298) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 315
109129 Homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 2
109128 homework ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 588
109127 [06/01] Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 1
109126 homework ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 358
109125 homework of Wednesday ±è*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 403
109124 What has been the worst complaint in the hospital where you are... ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 336
109123 Are there a lot of immigrants in your community? ÇÏ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 308
109122 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 300
109121 Would you rather give money to beggars or buskers? Why? ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 389
109120 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 292
109119 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 0
109118 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 0
109117 Do you think it\'s good to share photos on social media? Why or... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 339
109116 Which natural disaster do you fear most and why? ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-04 347

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04