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Homewokr

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2021-06-21 371

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Medical science should take credit for the longevity.

Longevity is blessing but it brings about several anxious.

First, we have to worry about the problem of finance.

As order, income decreases and it is difficult to find job.

So many people learn financial technology.

Second We have to worry about the desease.

An old men might contract a desease easily.

So many people are interest in medical treatment system.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Chris!  Thank you for taking the time to express your idea about this topic. ^^
T. Irene
Medical science should take credit for the longevity.
>>> Correct. 
Longevity is blessing but it brings about several anxious.
>>> Longevity is a blessing but it brings about several problems.
First, we have to worry about the problem of finance.
>>> First, we have to worry about finances.
As order, income decreases and it is difficult to find job.
>>> These days, many people lost a lot of their income and for others, it's hard to find a job. 
So many people learn financial technology.
>>> So many people have to manage their finances. 
Second We have to worry about the desease.
>>> Second, we have to worry about diseases.
An old men might contract a desease easily.
>>> Old people are at high risk to get sick because of their age. 
So many people are interest in medical treatment system.
>>> So, many people are dependent on the medical treatment system. 
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