¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homewokr

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¹ü
2021-06-21 490

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Medical science should take credit for the longevity.

Longevity is blessing but it brings about several anxious.

First, we have to worry about the problem of finance.

As order, income decreases and it is difficult to find job.

So many people learn financial technology.

Second We have to worry about the desease.

An old men might contract a desease easily.

So many people are interest in medical treatment system.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Chris!  Thank you for taking the time to express your idea about this topic. ^^
T. Irene
Medical science should take credit for the longevity.
>>> Correct. 
Longevity is blessing but it brings about several anxious.
>>> Longevity is a blessing but it brings about several problems.
First, we have to worry about the problem of finance.
>>> First, we have to worry about finances.
As order, income decreases and it is difficult to find job.
>>> These days, many people lost a lot of their income and for others, it's hard to find a job. 
So many people learn financial technology.
>>> So many people have to manage their finances. 
Second We have to worry about the desease.
>>> Second, we have to worry about diseases.
An old men might contract a desease easily.
>>> Old people are at high risk to get sick because of their age. 
So many people are interest in medical treatment system.
>>> So, many people are dependent on the medical treatment system. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109792 Your expectation ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-04 1
109791 Digitization forces Korean banks to shut down branches À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-04 1
109790 On working from home, no hoesik, young workers prefer COVID-era... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-04 1
109789 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-03 394
109788 What do you do when you have trouble sleeping ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-03 0
109787 Is there any case of human trafficking in your country? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 1
109786 Hi! Gina ¿ì*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 3
109785 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 414
109784 Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people¡¯s... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 2
109783 Homework. ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 437
109782 Homework. ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 482
109781 Are there litter laws where you live? If so, what is the penalty... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 1
109780 Why do people sometimes feel afraid to express their real... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 352
109779 What bad habits bother you the most? Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 507
109778 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 2
109777 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 853
109776 In some countries young people are not only richer, but also... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 515
109775 What foods have you tasted which you will never forget for the... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 1
109774 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 398
109773 HW ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04