¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homewokr

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¹ü
2021-06-21 523

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Medical science should take credit for the longevity.

Longevity is blessing but it brings about several anxious.

First, we have to worry about the problem of finance.

As order, income decreases and it is difficult to find job.

So many people learn financial technology.

Second We have to worry about the desease.

An old men might contract a desease easily.

So many people are interest in medical treatment system.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Chris!  Thank you for taking the time to express your idea about this topic. ^^
T. Irene
Medical science should take credit for the longevity.
>>> Correct. 
Longevity is blessing but it brings about several anxious.
>>> Longevity is a blessing but it brings about several problems.
First, we have to worry about the problem of finance.
>>> First, we have to worry about finances.
As order, income decreases and it is difficult to find job.
>>> These days, many people lost a lot of their income and for others, it's hard to find a job. 
So many people learn financial technology.
>>> So many people have to manage their finances. 
Second We have to worry about the desease.
>>> Second, we have to worry about diseases.
An old men might contract a desease easily.
>>> Old people are at high risk to get sick because of their age. 
So many people are interest in medical treatment system.
>>> So, many people are dependent on the medical treatment system. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109302 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 1
109301 HM ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 0
109300 What can you do best? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 455
109299 What would you say is the best thing about getting older? Why? ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 622
109298 Why do people travel? °­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 1
109297 If you were planning a party on a very small budget, what would... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 569
109296 How do you show your respect for other people? ¿À*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 681
109295 homework Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 646
109294 Does China have good policies for its people? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 2
109293 Homework (302) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 538
109292 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 464
109291 If you were planning a party on a very small budget, what would... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 557
109290 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 571
109289 Hi, Sharon. È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 0
109288 Should parents be held responsible for their children\'s... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 523
109287 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 4
109286 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 4
109285 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 470
109284 I like the citrus scent the most! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 510
109283 The extreme weather conditions ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04