¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you are very busy at work or at school, do you have ways to balance your life?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-06-23 249

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think if I am so busy at work or at school, I can't balance my life.
We have a feeling so if we work so hard, we will be tired becuse of our work.
And we have to enjoy our life with doing the things that we want to do.
But if we are so tired, we can't do the things that we want to do in our life.
So if we are too busy at work or school, I think we can't balance our life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi  John! ^^

People should still enjoy life despite their busy schedules. Learn to make time for yourself. Nothing should be taking your peace away. It's called self-love. :) Keep it up!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think if I am so busy at work or at school, I can't balance my life.
>> CORRECT

We have a feeling so if we work so hard, we will be tired becuse of our work.
>> We have this urge to work so hard  and eventually we will be tired because of it. 

And we have to enjoy our life with doing the things that we want to do.
>> We have to enjoy our life by doing things we want to do. 

But if we are so tired, we can't do the things that we want to do in our life.
>> CORRECT

So if we are too busy at work or school, I think we can't balance our life.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109795 Are you good at knowing when something is wrong with a coworker... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-04 0
109794 Saturday ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-04 676
109793 What images spring to mind when you hear the word ¡®stress¡¯? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-04 251
109792 Your expectation ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-04 1
109791 Digitization forces Korean banks to shut down branches À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-04 1
109790 On working from home, no hoesik, young workers prefer COVID-era... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-04 1
109789 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-03 234
109788 What do you do when you have trouble sleeping ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-03 0
109787 Is there any case of human trafficking in your country? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 1
109786 Hi! Gina ¿ì*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 3
109785 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 273
109784 Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people¡¯s... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 2
109783 Homework. ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 254
109782 Homework. ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 310
109781 Are there litter laws where you live? If so, what is the penalty... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 1
109780 Why do people sometimes feel afraid to express their real... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 243
109779 What bad habits bother you the most? Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 309
109778 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 2
109777 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 628
109776 In some countries young people are not only richer, but also... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 276

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04