¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you are very busy at work or at school, do you have ways to balance your life?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-06-23 241

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think if I am so busy at work or at school, I can't balance my life.
We have a feeling so if we work so hard, we will be tired becuse of our work.
And we have to enjoy our life with doing the things that we want to do.
But if we are so tired, we can't do the things that we want to do in our life.
So if we are too busy at work or school, I think we can't balance our life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi  John! ^^

People should still enjoy life despite their busy schedules. Learn to make time for yourself. Nothing should be taking your peace away. It's called self-love. :) Keep it up!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think if I am so busy at work or at school, I can't balance my life.
>> CORRECT

We have a feeling so if we work so hard, we will be tired becuse of our work.
>> We have this urge to work so hard  and eventually we will be tired because of it. 

And we have to enjoy our life with doing the things that we want to do.
>> We have to enjoy our life by doing things we want to do. 

But if we are so tired, we can't do the things that we want to do in our life.
>> CORRECT

So if we are too busy at work or school, I think we can't balance our life.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109498 what is the best thing about camping? how about the worst thing? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-19 2
109497 Do you think the use of cars will increase or decrease in the... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-19 1
109496 How can you become happy again when you are sad? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-19 2
109495 [6/11]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-06-19 1
109494 How much do young people your age care about their fitness? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-19 422
109493 [6/9]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-06-19 1
109492 [6/8]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-06-19 0
109491 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-19 5
109490 Do you do a certain diet? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 2
109489 Landlord who reported tenant for abandoning 14 cats turns out to... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 1
109488 homework of Wednesday ±è*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 325
109487 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 382
109486 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 299
109485 When is it necessary to complain? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 2
109484 Is it common in your country to complain about bad service? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 3
109483 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 342
109482 Some people think that it is a waste of time for high school... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 348
109481 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 636
109480 When a person spends most of his or her time working a job with... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 429
109479 Have you worked in a company that has a \"No Reference Policy\"?... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 276

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04