¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you are very busy at work or at school, do you have ways to balance your life?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-06-23 253

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think if I am so busy at work or at school, I can't balance my life.
We have a feeling so if we work so hard, we will be tired becuse of our work.
And we have to enjoy our life with doing the things that we want to do.
But if we are so tired, we can't do the things that we want to do in our life.
So if we are too busy at work or school, I think we can't balance our life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi  John! ^^

People should still enjoy life despite their busy schedules. Learn to make time for yourself. Nothing should be taking your peace away. It's called self-love. :) Keep it up!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think if I am so busy at work or at school, I can't balance my life.
>> CORRECT

We have a feeling so if we work so hard, we will be tired becuse of our work.
>> We have this urge to work so hard  and eventually we will be tired because of it. 

And we have to enjoy our life with doing the things that we want to do.
>> We have to enjoy our life by doing things we want to do. 

But if we are so tired, we can't do the things that we want to do in our life.
>> CORRECT

So if we are too busy at work or school, I think we can't balance our life.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109442 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-17 323
109441 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-17 284
109440 How can teen suicide be avoided? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 2
109439 What exercises can you do at home? ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 2
109438 Homework . Claire ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 326
109437 Homework ÃÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 278
109436 The best things. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 301
109435 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 321
109434 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 334
109433 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 0
109432 Hello! ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 4
109431 How do you order food in English? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 417
109430 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 290
109429 I want to be a Eagle! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 419
109428 What makes your city more special than the other ones in South... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 283
109427 What makes your city more special than the other ones in South... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 0
109426 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 291
109425 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 338
109424 Eldery Koreans Become More Independent À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 1
109423 Hoework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 336

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04