¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you are very busy at work or at school, do you have ways to balance your life?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-06-23 324

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think if I am so busy at work or at school, I can't balance my life.
We have a feeling so if we work so hard, we will be tired becuse of our work.
And we have to enjoy our life with doing the things that we want to do.
But if we are so tired, we can't do the things that we want to do in our life.
So if we are too busy at work or school, I think we can't balance our life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi  John! ^^

People should still enjoy life despite their busy schedules. Learn to make time for yourself. Nothing should be taking your peace away. It's called self-love. :) Keep it up!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think if I am so busy at work or at school, I can't balance my life.
>> CORRECT

We have a feeling so if we work so hard, we will be tired becuse of our work.
>> We have this urge to work so hard  and eventually we will be tired because of it. 

And we have to enjoy our life with doing the things that we want to do.
>> We have to enjoy our life by doing things we want to do. 

But if we are so tired, we can't do the things that we want to do in our life.
>> CORRECT

So if we are too busy at work or school, I think we can't balance our life.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109614 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 374
109613 If you retire in the future, what do you think would your life... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 1
109612 What\'s the worst food you ever ate in a restaurant? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 1
109611 If you retire in the future, what do you think would your life... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 431
109610 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 461
109609 Home work :) ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 337
109608 Nowadays employment options are changing and employees cannot... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 396
109607 Are these sentences gramatically correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 3
109606 Home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 420
109605 : In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless.... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 506
109604 Mourn ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 478
109603 Home work ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 383
109602 Home work ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 508
109601 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 2
109600 What bad habits bother you the most? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 2
109599 How do you think transportation will change in the future? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 327
109598 How can traveling be educational? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 396
109597 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 1
109596 Who shoud pay on dates? À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 1
109595 Use the words in a sentence ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 299

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04