¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you are very busy at work or at school, do you have ways to balance your life?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-06-23 359

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think if I am so busy at work or at school, I can't balance my life.
We have a feeling so if we work so hard, we will be tired becuse of our work.
And we have to enjoy our life with doing the things that we want to do.
But if we are so tired, we can't do the things that we want to do in our life.
So if we are too busy at work or school, I think we can't balance our life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi  John! ^^

People should still enjoy life despite their busy schedules. Learn to make time for yourself. Nothing should be taking your peace away. It's called self-love. :) Keep it up!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think if I am so busy at work or at school, I can't balance my life.
>> CORRECT

We have a feeling so if we work so hard, we will be tired becuse of our work.
>> We have this urge to work so hard  and eventually we will be tired because of it. 

And we have to enjoy our life with doing the things that we want to do.
>> We have to enjoy our life by doing things we want to do. 

But if we are so tired, we can't do the things that we want to do in our life.
>> CORRECT

So if we are too busy at work or school, I think we can't balance our life.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109210 spicy food. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 442
109209 Home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 435
109208 Are the drinking and driving laws in your country too strict?... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1
109207 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 649
109206 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 509
109205 Is voting an important responsibility of a citizen? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1
109204 What do you think should the government of South Korea focus on? ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 414
109203 Who are the 3 people in your life that you can\'t live without? ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 420
109202 thank you, Rina gw* yoonah ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 386
109201 School ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 541
109200 What are the things that people used to do before but not... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 447
109199 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 477
109198 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 3
109197 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1
109196 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1
109195 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1
109194 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 2
109193 DIRECTIONS: Find the synonyms of the words and use them in a... ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1
109192 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1
109191 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 443

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04