¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Describe the set up of an ideal family. (In your own idea or concept.)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ö
2021-06-25 413

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, the most important factor which makes a perfect family is having their own place. Some people are comfortable and feel stability when they spend their time alone. However, there are many people who can¡¯t take a rest alone because they live with their family. They cannot have own place and time to relax quietly. If all family members have their rooms respectively, they could be guaranteed to be free. When family members are relaxed, they can make a good relationship with their family. They also can conceal their personal thing. Their secrete can be protected. Therefore, I think the ideal family is not to interrupt other¡¯s work and to have own rooms.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Ria!

In my opinion, the most important factor which makes a perfect family is having their own place. 
>>>  correct  
Some people are comfortable and feel stability when they spend their time alone. 
>>> correct   
However, there are many people who can¡¯t take a rest alone because they live with their family. 
>>> correct  
They cannot have own place and time to relax quietly. 
>>>  OR: They cannot have their own place and time to relax quietly. 
If all family members have their rooms respectively, they could be guaranteed to be free. 
>>> correct  
When family members are relaxed, they can make a good relationship with their family. 
>>> correct    
They also can conceal their personal thing. 
>>> OR; They can also conceal their personal things.
>>> OR: They can also be guaranteed of personal privacy.   
Their secrete can be protected. 
>>>  Their secrets can be protected.  
Therefore, I think the ideal family is not to interrupt other¡¯s work and to have own rooms.
>>Therefore, I think the ideal family is not to interrupt with others' work and to have own rooms.  
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111532 Why do you need a friend? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 1
111531 Do you enjoy traveling? Why? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 1
111530 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 1
111529 When was the last time you achieved a goal? How did you feel? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 282
111528 What is the importance of having a balanced diet? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 1
111527 Vaccines ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 329
111526 Ninja life À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 359
111525 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 0
111524 Do you enjoy learning about other countries¡¯ customs? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 420
111523 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 352
111522 Homework ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 12
111521 I\'m not sure about this, but I did my best~^^ ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 254
111520 I love fruity smells>< It feels so fresh!! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 304
111519 9.1 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 1
111518 What is the importance of a healthy diet? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 1
111517 What comes/springs to your mind when you hear the expression... ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 270
111516 What do solutions basically do in systems? Share your answer in... ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 294
111515 Homework (312) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 300
111514 Life without friends ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 319
111513 page 25 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 284

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04