¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Describe the set up of an ideal family. (In your own idea or concept.)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ö
2021-06-25 294

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, the most important factor which makes a perfect family is having their own place. Some people are comfortable and feel stability when they spend their time alone. However, there are many people who can¡¯t take a rest alone because they live with their family. They cannot have own place and time to relax quietly. If all family members have their rooms respectively, they could be guaranteed to be free. When family members are relaxed, they can make a good relationship with their family. They also can conceal their personal thing. Their secrete can be protected. Therefore, I think the ideal family is not to interrupt other¡¯s work and to have own rooms.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Ria!

In my opinion, the most important factor which makes a perfect family is having their own place. 
>>>  correct  
Some people are comfortable and feel stability when they spend their time alone. 
>>> correct   
However, there are many people who can¡¯t take a rest alone because they live with their family. 
>>> correct  
They cannot have own place and time to relax quietly. 
>>>  OR: They cannot have their own place and time to relax quietly. 
If all family members have their rooms respectively, they could be guaranteed to be free. 
>>> correct  
When family members are relaxed, they can make a good relationship with their family. 
>>> correct    
They also can conceal their personal thing. 
>>> OR; They can also conceal their personal things.
>>> OR: They can also be guaranteed of personal privacy.   
Their secrete can be protected. 
>>>  Their secrets can be protected.  
Therefore, I think the ideal family is not to interrupt other¡¯s work and to have own rooms.
>>Therefore, I think the ideal family is not to interrupt with others' work and to have own rooms.  
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110363 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 0
110362 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 329
110361 I want to study Mars when I become a astronaut! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 288
110360 Get in touch ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 3
110359 What food would you like to learn how to cook and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 195
110358 My name\'s meaning is Galaxy! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 272
110357 21/07/28 homework ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 547
110356 homework ¹é*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 281
110355 Length ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 238
110354 What is one most memorable celebration in your life? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 242
110353 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 4
110352 Do you think global warming is caused by our pollution? Why? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 3
110351 What are the pros and cons of both husband and wife working? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 224
110350 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 254
110349 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 1
110348 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ÁøÇàÁß 2021-07-28 274
110347 Why Older People Find It Harder to Taste Food À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 1
110346 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 305
110345 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 2
110344 Is making eye contact important in your culture? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04