¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Describe the set up of an ideal family. (In your own idea or concept.)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ö
2021-06-25 252

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, the most important factor which makes a perfect family is having their own place. Some people are comfortable and feel stability when they spend their time alone. However, there are many people who can¡¯t take a rest alone because they live with their family. They cannot have own place and time to relax quietly. If all family members have their rooms respectively, they could be guaranteed to be free. When family members are relaxed, they can make a good relationship with their family. They also can conceal their personal thing. Their secrete can be protected. Therefore, I think the ideal family is not to interrupt other¡¯s work and to have own rooms.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Ria!

In my opinion, the most important factor which makes a perfect family is having their own place. 
>>>  correct  
Some people are comfortable and feel stability when they spend their time alone. 
>>> correct   
However, there are many people who can¡¯t take a rest alone because they live with their family. 
>>> correct  
They cannot have own place and time to relax quietly. 
>>>  OR: They cannot have their own place and time to relax quietly. 
If all family members have their rooms respectively, they could be guaranteed to be free. 
>>> correct  
When family members are relaxed, they can make a good relationship with their family. 
>>> correct    
They also can conceal their personal thing. 
>>> OR; They can also conceal their personal things.
>>> OR: They can also be guaranteed of personal privacy.   
Their secrete can be protected. 
>>>  Their secrets can be protected.  
Therefore, I think the ideal family is not to interrupt other¡¯s work and to have own rooms.
>>Therefore, I think the ideal family is not to interrupt with others' work and to have own rooms.  
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109592 What do you think about people who have HIV? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 2
109591 homework Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 244
109590 Homework (303) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 264
109589 How can I help a friend? ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 2
109588 My summer activities! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 444
109587 Do many people in your country study abroad? Why do you think... ÇÏ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 432
109586 After I retire ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 316
109585 What are the advantages and disadvantages of cooking your food... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 281
109584 If you are very busy at work or at school, do you have ways to... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 598
109583 What was the most memorable vacation that you had with your... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 220
109582 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 241
109581 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 228
109580 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 257
109579 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 213
109578 Do you enjoy meeting new people? Why or why not? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 2
109577 What is your cards? ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 257
109576 Do many people in your country study abroad? Why do you think... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 1
109575 If you are very busy at work or at school, do you have ways to... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 226
109574 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 238
109573 Are these sentences grammatically correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04