¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Describe the set up of an ideal family. (In your own idea or concept.)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ö
2021-06-25 261

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, the most important factor which makes a perfect family is having their own place. Some people are comfortable and feel stability when they spend their time alone. However, there are many people who can¡¯t take a rest alone because they live with their family. They cannot have own place and time to relax quietly. If all family members have their rooms respectively, they could be guaranteed to be free. When family members are relaxed, they can make a good relationship with their family. They also can conceal their personal thing. Their secrete can be protected. Therefore, I think the ideal family is not to interrupt other¡¯s work and to have own rooms.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Ria!

In my opinion, the most important factor which makes a perfect family is having their own place. 
>>>  correct  
Some people are comfortable and feel stability when they spend their time alone. 
>>> correct   
However, there are many people who can¡¯t take a rest alone because they live with their family. 
>>> correct  
They cannot have own place and time to relax quietly. 
>>>  OR: They cannot have their own place and time to relax quietly. 
If all family members have their rooms respectively, they could be guaranteed to be free. 
>>> correct  
When family members are relaxed, they can make a good relationship with their family. 
>>> correct    
They also can conceal their personal thing. 
>>> OR; They can also conceal their personal things.
>>> OR: They can also be guaranteed of personal privacy.   
Their secrete can be protected. 
>>>  Their secrets can be protected.  
Therefore, I think the ideal family is not to interrupt other¡¯s work and to have own rooms.
>>Therefore, I think the ideal family is not to interrupt with others' work and to have own rooms.  
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109492 [6/8]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-06-19 0
109491 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-19 5
109490 Do you do a certain diet? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 2
109489 Landlord who reported tenant for abandoning 14 cats turns out to... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 1
109488 homework of Wednesday ±è*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 330
109487 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 386
109486 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 307
109485 When is it necessary to complain? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 2
109484 Is it common in your country to complain about bad service? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 3
109483 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 350
109482 Some people think that it is a waste of time for high school... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 352
109481 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 641
109480 When a person spends most of his or her time working a job with... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 442
109479 Have you worked in a company that has a \"No Reference Policy\"?... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 283
109478 Do you think dreams have meanings? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 263
109477 When and where do you usually eat out? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 277
109476 What\'s the strangest dream you\'ve ever had? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 0
109475 What is your favorite holiday? Has your favorite holiday changed... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 368
109474 What do you want to improve/change in your personality? À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 318
109473 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04