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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Why do humans have pets? Do you have a pet? Why or why not?

작성자: 황*하
2021-06-28 315

회원님의 영작문

We used to raise pets out of house but most people raise them inside home. The favorite pets in Korea are a dog and a cat. The definition of family has changed in this century. Young people hesitate to get married and have babies because it's really difficult to make money and buy house in their life time. So, people prefer to live alone and they easily feel lonely. I hated to come back home after work because there were no people who can talk with me. What I first did was turning on TV when I was back home. I guess that most people have same experience as me, so they have adopted pets from their neighbors or purchased it. Pets make people laugh and give a chance for people to communicate with them even though they can't speak. However, I don't want to raise pets because there are a lot of things to do for them from eating to cleaning them. Furthermore, I have rhinitis of furs and dust. If I have pets, I can't keep my health. My son love to have it but my wife and I don't agree with

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용


HI Seha Hwang, thank you for this. Have a great day!
Jasmin 

We used to raise pets out of house but most people raise them inside home.
>>We used to raise pets outside our house but most people raise them inside their home. 
The favorite pets in Korea are a dog and a cat.
>>The two favorite pets in Korea are dogs and cats. 
The definition of family has changed in this century.
>>The definition of family has been changed this generation.
Young people hesitate to get married and have babies because it's really difficult to make money and buy house in their life time.
>>Young people hesitate to get married and starts a family because it's really difficult to make money and buy their own house. 
So, people prefer to live alone and they easily feel lonely.
>>So, most people prefer to live alone even if it feels lonely. 
I hated to come back home after work because there were no people who can talk with me.
>>I hated to come back home after work because there are no people who I can talk with. 
What I first did was turning on TV when I was back home.
>>What I do first is just turn on the TV the moment I got home. 
 I guess that most people have same experience as me, so they have adopted pets from their neighbors or purchased it.
>>I guess most people in here have the same experience as me, so they just adopted pets from their neighbors or just bought pets. 
Pets make people laugh and give a chance for people to communicate with them even though they can't speak.
>>Pets make people happy and genuinely smile and give them a chance for people to communicate with them even if they can't speak. 
However, I don't want to raise pets because there are a lot of things to do for them from eating to cleaning them.
>>However, I don't want to raise pets because there are lot of things to do for them from eating to cleaning them every single day. 
Furthermore, I have rhinitis of furs and dust. If I have pets, I can't keep my health.
>>Aside from that, I have an allergies from furs and dust. It's hard for me to breathe if there are pets around.
My son love to have it but my wife and I don't agree with
>>My son love to have a pet but my wife and I don't agree with it. 
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