¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Monday homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2021-06-28 476

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q:What's something you don't like about Facebook?
A:I'm not sure things that people do in Facebook, but I think they share their situation in Facebook.
Firstly, if I use Facebook and if I share something bad, and if I regret it, then I'll delete it from the program, but I can't delete it from the user's brain, so it will be not that good.
Secondly, the Facebook users can say something good to me but, they can say something bad, then I'll feel bad, so it isn't good thing for me.
Also, they can use slang in Facebook, so it can give children bad effects, so it should not be used by children.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I'm not sure things that people do in Facebook, but I think they share their situation in Facebook.

>> I'm not sure about the things that people do on Facebook, but I think they share their situations on Facebook.
Firstly, if I use Facebook and if I share something bad, and if I regret it, then I'll delete it from the program, but I can't delete it from the user's brain, so it will be not that good.

>> First of all, If I use Facebook and share something bad and regret it after, then I'll delete it but I can't delete it from other users' brains so that won't be good.
Secondly, the Facebook users can say something good to me but, they can say something bad, then I'll feel bad, so it isn't good thing for me.

>> Secondly, other Facebook users can say something good to me but they can also say something bad which would make me feel bad and that isn't a good thing for me.
Also, they can use slang in Facebook, so it can give children bad effects, so it should not be used by children.

>> Also, they can use slang words on Facebook so it can have a bad effect on children so it shouldn't be used by children.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111300 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 0
111299 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 295
111298 My birthday party ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 1
111297 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 340
111296 Writing task: Who do you think needs charity the most? Á¶*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 1
111295 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 357
111294 - Make sample sentences using given words ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 1
111293 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 367
111292 There are a lot of technology which is very helpful, but I think... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 330
111291 - Make sample sentences using given words ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 1
111290 - Make sample sentences using given words ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 1
111289 What do you think is the best city in Korea and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 564
111288 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 339
111287 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 1
111286 Things we can do ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 315
111285 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 4
111284 Pet peeves Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 476
111283 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 340
111282 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 275
111281 19th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04