¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Monday homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2021-06-28 533

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q:What's something you don't like about Facebook?
A:I'm not sure things that people do in Facebook, but I think they share their situation in Facebook.
Firstly, if I use Facebook and if I share something bad, and if I regret it, then I'll delete it from the program, but I can't delete it from the user's brain, so it will be not that good.
Secondly, the Facebook users can say something good to me but, they can say something bad, then I'll feel bad, so it isn't good thing for me.
Also, they can use slang in Facebook, so it can give children bad effects, so it should not be used by children.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I'm not sure things that people do in Facebook, but I think they share their situation in Facebook.

>> I'm not sure about the things that people do on Facebook, but I think they share their situations on Facebook.
Firstly, if I use Facebook and if I share something bad, and if I regret it, then I'll delete it from the program, but I can't delete it from the user's brain, so it will be not that good.

>> First of all, If I use Facebook and share something bad and regret it after, then I'll delete it but I can't delete it from other users' brains so that won't be good.
Secondly, the Facebook users can say something good to me but, they can say something bad, then I'll feel bad, so it isn't good thing for me.

>> Secondly, other Facebook users can say something good to me but they can also say something bad which would make me feel bad and that isn't a good thing for me.
Also, they can use slang in Facebook, so it can give children bad effects, so it should not be used by children.

>> Also, they can use slang words on Facebook so it can have a bad effect on children so it shouldn't be used by children.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110424 Where do you read the news every day? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 1
110423 What do you think is the most important subject? Explain your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 403
110422 How do you treat a cold? ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 512
110421 What do you think is the color for happiness? ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 458
110420 How do you handle conflict in work? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 3
110419 home work ½É*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 5
110418 home work on July 30 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 1
110417 eat ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 457
110416 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 3
110415 2nd homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 2
110414 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 1
110413 Homework ÀÓ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 375
110412 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 0
110411 Homework ÀÓ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 622
110410 Which one do you think is better, working in Korea or working in... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 1
110409 English Speaking Test ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 368
110408 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 595
110407 North and South Korea restore hotline after a year À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 1
110406 Who is your role model? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 631
110405 How can you become happy again when you are sad? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 485

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04