¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Monday homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2021-06-28 363

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q:What's something you don't like about Facebook?
A:I'm not sure things that people do in Facebook, but I think they share their situation in Facebook.
Firstly, if I use Facebook and if I share something bad, and if I regret it, then I'll delete it from the program, but I can't delete it from the user's brain, so it will be not that good.
Secondly, the Facebook users can say something good to me but, they can say something bad, then I'll feel bad, so it isn't good thing for me.
Also, they can use slang in Facebook, so it can give children bad effects, so it should not be used by children.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I'm not sure things that people do in Facebook, but I think they share their situation in Facebook.

>> I'm not sure about the things that people do on Facebook, but I think they share their situations on Facebook.
Firstly, if I use Facebook and if I share something bad, and if I regret it, then I'll delete it from the program, but I can't delete it from the user's brain, so it will be not that good.

>> First of all, If I use Facebook and share something bad and regret it after, then I'll delete it but I can't delete it from other users' brains so that won't be good.
Secondly, the Facebook users can say something good to me but, they can say something bad, then I'll feel bad, so it isn't good thing for me.

>> Secondly, other Facebook users can say something good to me but they can also say something bad which would make me feel bad and that isn't a good thing for me.
Also, they can use slang in Facebook, so it can give children bad effects, so it should not be used by children.

>> Also, they can use slang words on Facebook so it can have a bad effect on children so it shouldn't be used by children.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109159 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 353
109158 Tell me about the food delivery system in Korea. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 0
109157 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 3
109156 HOMEWORK:ESSAY: Choose one experience in a restaurant and... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 3
109155 HOMEWORK : How can you describe your city for foreigners to... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 1
109154 There are several lessons I\'ve learned in life. ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 316
109153 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 316
109152 Homework. ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 321
109151 Home work ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 331
109150 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 358
109149 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 1
109148 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 392
109147 Interview 4 ±Ç*½Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 0
109146 Do you mind sharing your problems with your friends? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 325
109145 What do people use as source of light when there\'s a power... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-06 2
109144 I think Zeus is the powerful person in our world. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-06 399
109143 Why did you agree to practice your English regularly? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-06 366
109142 How would you like to spend your weekend if you were given the... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-06 348
109141 recommendation3 ±Ç*½Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-06-06 1
109140 recommendation2 ±Ç*½Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-06-06 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04