¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think can the rich countries help the poor countries?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-06-29 562

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think my country, Korea is little weak with taxation.
In U.S, the citizens pay their income's half for their country as tax.
If Korea citizens pay their income's half as U.S, there will be a lot of money in National Treasury, and we can use that money for the poor country.
So I think if we pay our income's half to our country, we can help the poor countries.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

That's actually a good solution but I think a lot of people would be against this because their hard earned money will be offered to other people. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think my country, Korea is little weak with taxation.
>> In Korea,  which is my country, taxation is a little weak.

In U.S, the citizens pay their income's half for their country as tax.
>> In the US, citizens pay their tax with half their income. 

If Korea citizens pay their income's half as U.S, there will be a lot of money in National Treasury, and we can use that money for the poor country.
>> If this also happens in Korea, there would be more money in the National Treasury and we can use that to help the poor countries. 

So I think if we pay our income's half to our country, we can help the poor countries.
>> So I think if we pay our tax with half of our income, we can help poor countries. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111864 Hi kate! ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 2
111863 What do you think would your life be when you retired? Explain... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 417
111862 Do you think the emotion of hate will ever disappear from humans? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 409
111861 Fish is the hardest animal to take care ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 415
111860 I\'m happy!~~~~~~ ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 501
111859 Hope and wish > ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 443
111858 Homework ÀÌ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 2
111857 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 615
111856 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 5
111855 Homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 376
111854 Do you like meeting new people? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 423
111853 53 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 417
111852 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 951
111851 Make 2 sentences using this pattern: Won¡¯t that... more... ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 2
111850 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 396
111849 If you won a lot of money, would you tell your family? How about... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 1
111848 What do you think would your life be when you retired? Explain... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 583
111847 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 481
111846 Traveling ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 457
111845 What do you think would your life be when you retired? Explain... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04