¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think can the rich countries help the poor countries?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-06-29 498

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think my country, Korea is little weak with taxation.
In U.S, the citizens pay their income's half for their country as tax.
If Korea citizens pay their income's half as U.S, there will be a lot of money in National Treasury, and we can use that money for the poor country.
So I think if we pay our income's half to our country, we can help the poor countries.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

That's actually a good solution but I think a lot of people would be against this because their hard earned money will be offered to other people. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think my country, Korea is little weak with taxation.
>> In Korea,  which is my country, taxation is a little weak.

In U.S, the citizens pay their income's half for their country as tax.
>> In the US, citizens pay their tax with half their income. 

If Korea citizens pay their income's half as U.S, there will be a lot of money in National Treasury, and we can use that money for the poor country.
>> If this also happens in Korea, there would be more money in the National Treasury and we can use that to help the poor countries. 

So I think if we pay our income's half to our country, we can help the poor countries.
>> So I think if we pay our tax with half of our income, we can help poor countries. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110974 Homework! /(*\'O\'*)/ Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 464
110973 What makes you an asset to any company that you would apply to? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 2
110972 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 361
110971 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 0
110970 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 0
110969 If you were to recommend an amusement park, which one would you... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 1
110968 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 388
110967 No home work! Á¶*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 376
110966 Writing task: What is the most worthwhile thing a person can do... Á¶*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 2
110965 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 390
110964 Homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 336
110963 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 313
110962 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 701
110961 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 710
110960 What is your idea of a perfect vacation? ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 287
110959 8.17 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 4
110958 Page 37 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 428
110957 I think there is a limit to revealing your individuality! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 446
110956 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 411
110955 Why do you think body language is important? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04