¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think can the rich countries help the poor countries?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-06-29 463

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think my country, Korea is little weak with taxation.
In U.S, the citizens pay their income's half for their country as tax.
If Korea citizens pay their income's half as U.S, there will be a lot of money in National Treasury, and we can use that money for the poor country.
So I think if we pay our income's half to our country, we can help the poor countries.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

That's actually a good solution but I think a lot of people would be against this because their hard earned money will be offered to other people. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think my country, Korea is little weak with taxation.
>> In Korea,  which is my country, taxation is a little weak.

In U.S, the citizens pay their income's half for their country as tax.
>> In the US, citizens pay their tax with half their income. 

If Korea citizens pay their income's half as U.S, there will be a lot of money in National Treasury, and we can use that money for the poor country.
>> If this also happens in Korea, there would be more money in the National Treasury and we can use that to help the poor countries. 

So I think if we pay our income's half to our country, we can help the poor countries.
>> So I think if we pay our tax with half of our income, we can help poor countries. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110660 The reason why I think culture is important ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 360
110659 What is the advantage of a four-day work week? ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 422
110658 Do you think you can be a good athlete is you are younger? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 299
110657 Introduction script in interview ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 307
110656 What can you find in a rural area? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 289
110655 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 0
110654 Page 9 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 376
110653 small talk Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-08 360
110652 What do you think should the government about the homeless... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-08 475
110651 Day 5 homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-08 343
110650 Special food. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-08 1
110649 What kind of device should be invented in order for our lives to... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-08 0
110648 Is always coming late a bad habit? Why? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-07 0
110647 warriors ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-07 309
110646 What country do you want to visit after COVID 19? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-07 442
110645 What do you think should the government about the homeless... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 301
110644 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 361
110643 Good evening, my teacher! ¿À*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 432
110642 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 402
110641 My favorite song is Troye Sivan\'s . ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 422

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04