¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think can the rich countries help the poor countries?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-06-29 262

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think my country, Korea is little weak with taxation.
In U.S, the citizens pay their income's half for their country as tax.
If Korea citizens pay their income's half as U.S, there will be a lot of money in National Treasury, and we can use that money for the poor country.
So I think if we pay our income's half to our country, we can help the poor countries.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

That's actually a good solution but I think a lot of people would be against this because their hard earned money will be offered to other people. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think my country, Korea is little weak with taxation.
>> In Korea,  which is my country, taxation is a little weak.

In U.S, the citizens pay their income's half for their country as tax.
>> In the US, citizens pay their tax with half their income. 

If Korea citizens pay their income's half as U.S, there will be a lot of money in National Treasury, and we can use that money for the poor country.
>> If this also happens in Korea, there would be more money in the National Treasury and we can use that to help the poor countries. 

So I think if we pay our income's half to our country, we can help the poor countries.
>> So I think if we pay our tax with half of our income, we can help poor countries. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109592 What do you think about people who have HIV? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 2
109591 homework Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 243
109590 Homework (303) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 264
109589 How can I help a friend? ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 2
109588 My summer activities! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 444
109587 Do many people in your country study abroad? Why do you think... ÇÏ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 432
109586 After I retire ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 315
109585 What are the advantages and disadvantages of cooking your food... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 281
109584 If you are very busy at work or at school, do you have ways to... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 598
109583 What was the most memorable vacation that you had with your... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 219
109582 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 240
109581 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 228
109580 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 257
109579 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 213
109578 Do you enjoy meeting new people? Why or why not? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 2
109577 What is your cards? ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 256
109576 Do many people in your country study abroad? Why do you think... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 1
109575 If you are very busy at work or at school, do you have ways to... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 224
109574 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 238
109573 Are these sentences grammatically correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04