¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿¬
2021-06-29 298

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to be a Doraemon.
Because Doraemon has very cute and round hand.
I think Doraemon\'s charm is very cute round body and cute personality.
and I like red bean bread and Doraemon like red bean bread too.
I think Doraemon and I look just each other.
also, Doraemon has magic pouch that brings out anything.
I really want to get Doraemon's magic pouch.
So, I want to be a Doraemon character.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jenny,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



I want to be a Doraemon.
>>> I want to be Doraemon.

Because Doraemon has very cute and round hand.
>>> Because Doraemon has very cute and round hands.

I think Doraemon\'s charm is very cute round body and cute personality.
>>> I think Doraemon's charm is his very cute, round body and cute personality.

and I like red bean bread and Doraemon like red bean bread too.
>>> also, I like red bean bread and Doraemon likes red bean bread too.

I think Doraemon and I look just each other.
>>> I think Doraemon and I look just very similar to each other.

also, Doraemon has magic pouch that brings out anything.
>>> Moreover, Doraemon has a magic pouch that brings out anything.

I really want to get Doraemon's magic pouch.
>>> CORRECT

So, I want to be a Doraemon character.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110799 What is an important thing to remember when you are a tourist in... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 252
110798 What advice would you give a foreigner visiting your country who... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 280
110797 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 239
110796 A skeptical person ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 1
110795 homework Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 700
110794 Homework Àü*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 237
110793 Do you think piano lessons are important for student\'s... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 0
110792 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 268
110791 email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 260
110790 email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 279
110789 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 1
110788 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 1
110787 Day 7 homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 251
110786 If I do hard volunteer, they can get a big happiness! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 312
110785 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 183
110784 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 1
110783 Homework {08/11} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 209
110782 What advice would you give a foreigner visiting your country who... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 1
110781 What is the most useful thing that you own and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 0
110780 What advice would you give a foreigner visiting your country who... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 311

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04