¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿¬
2021-06-29 295

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to be a Doraemon.
Because Doraemon has very cute and round hand.
I think Doraemon\'s charm is very cute round body and cute personality.
and I like red bean bread and Doraemon like red bean bread too.
I think Doraemon and I look just each other.
also, Doraemon has magic pouch that brings out anything.
I really want to get Doraemon's magic pouch.
So, I want to be a Doraemon character.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jenny,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



I want to be a Doraemon.
>>> I want to be Doraemon.

Because Doraemon has very cute and round hand.
>>> Because Doraemon has very cute and round hands.

I think Doraemon\'s charm is very cute round body and cute personality.
>>> I think Doraemon's charm is his very cute, round body and cute personality.

and I like red bean bread and Doraemon like red bean bread too.
>>> also, I like red bean bread and Doraemon likes red bean bread too.

I think Doraemon and I look just each other.
>>> I think Doraemon and I look just very similar to each other.

also, Doraemon has magic pouch that brings out anything.
>>> Moreover, Doraemon has a magic pouch that brings out anything.

I really want to get Doraemon's magic pouch.
>>> CORRECT

So, I want to be a Doraemon character.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110725 9th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 2
110724 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 317
110723 If you had a business, what kind of business would it be? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 1
110722 How do you think athletes measure their success? Çã*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 2
110721 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 4
110720 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 197
110719 Page 13 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 231
110718 Who do you think gossips more, men or women? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 3
110717 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 3
110716 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 306
110715 Cleaning my Room ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 255
110714 If you had a business, what kind of business would it be? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 0
110713 What are the advantages/disadvantages of taking risks? È«*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 3
110712 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 1
110711 pgae 21 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 240
110710 Conversation Questions and Homework À¯*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 5
110709 1. What would you do if the relative university asked you to... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 539
110708 Why do you apply for this university? - interview script ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 275
110707 Why do you apply for Finland? - interview script ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 190
110706 How do you squeeze something up on your busy days? ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 286

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04