¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿¬
2021-06-29 481

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to be a Doraemon.
Because Doraemon has very cute and round hand.
I think Doraemon\'s charm is very cute round body and cute personality.
and I like red bean bread and Doraemon like red bean bread too.
I think Doraemon and I look just each other.
also, Doraemon has magic pouch that brings out anything.
I really want to get Doraemon's magic pouch.
So, I want to be a Doraemon character.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jenny,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



I want to be a Doraemon.
>>> I want to be Doraemon.

Because Doraemon has very cute and round hand.
>>> Because Doraemon has very cute and round hands.

I think Doraemon\'s charm is very cute round body and cute personality.
>>> I think Doraemon's charm is his very cute, round body and cute personality.

and I like red bean bread and Doraemon like red bean bread too.
>>> also, I like red bean bread and Doraemon likes red bean bread too.

I think Doraemon and I look just each other.
>>> I think Doraemon and I look just very similar to each other.

also, Doraemon has magic pouch that brings out anything.
>>> Moreover, Doraemon has a magic pouch that brings out anything.

I really want to get Doraemon's magic pouch.
>>> CORRECT

So, I want to be a Doraemon character.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111077 Homework {08/20} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 528
111076 Who is taller? ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 395
111075 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 3
111074 Homework📓 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 693
111073 In your opinion, what are the pros and cons of studying at home? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 447
111072 Do you compare prices at different stores when you shop? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 1
111071 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 497
111070 Don\'t Sleep with Your Phone À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 1
111069 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 2
111068 The way to the dangerous airport, the last exit out of Afghan. È«*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 7
111067 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 385
111066 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 411
111065 How does fashion affect people¡¯s lives ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 801
111064 Why do you think people dream when they sleep? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 5
111063 45 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 488
111062 Homework(*^V^*) Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 504
111061 Choose any traditional ceremony diffrent country \'s explain... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 2
111060 [8/17]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 1
111059 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 388
111058 8.19 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04