¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿¬
2021-06-29 221

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to be a Doraemon.
Because Doraemon has very cute and round hand.
I think Doraemon\'s charm is very cute round body and cute personality.
and I like red bean bread and Doraemon like red bean bread too.
I think Doraemon and I look just each other.
also, Doraemon has magic pouch that brings out anything.
I really want to get Doraemon's magic pouch.
So, I want to be a Doraemon character.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jenny,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



I want to be a Doraemon.
>>> I want to be Doraemon.

Because Doraemon has very cute and round hand.
>>> Because Doraemon has very cute and round hands.

I think Doraemon\'s charm is very cute round body and cute personality.
>>> I think Doraemon's charm is his very cute, round body and cute personality.

and I like red bean bread and Doraemon like red bean bread too.
>>> also, I like red bean bread and Doraemon likes red bean bread too.

I think Doraemon and I look just each other.
>>> I think Doraemon and I look just very similar to each other.

also, Doraemon has magic pouch that brings out anything.
>>> Moreover, Doraemon has a magic pouch that brings out anything.

I really want to get Doraemon's magic pouch.
>>> CORRECT

So, I want to be a Doraemon character.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109492 [6/8]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-06-19 0
109491 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-19 5
109490 Do you do a certain diet? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 2
109489 Landlord who reported tenant for abandoning 14 cats turns out to... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 1
109488 homework of Wednesday ±è*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 330
109487 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 386
109486 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 307
109485 When is it necessary to complain? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 2
109484 Is it common in your country to complain about bad service? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 3
109483 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 350
109482 Some people think that it is a waste of time for high school... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 352
109481 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 641
109480 When a person spends most of his or her time working a job with... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 442
109479 Have you worked in a company that has a \"No Reference Policy\"?... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 283
109478 Do you think dreams have meanings? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 263
109477 When and where do you usually eat out? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 277
109476 What\'s the strangest dream you\'ve ever had? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 0
109475 What is your favorite holiday? Has your favorite holiday changed... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 368
109474 What do you want to improve/change in your personality? À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 318
109473 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04