¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think playing video games are bad for kids? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-06-30 341

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think there are adventages and disadventages to playing video games for kids.
For the adventage, they can solve their stresses with playing video games.
We can get sense of accomplishment if we get some items in the video games.
And their are a lot of studies that students have to do, so students have a lot of stresses.
But there are disadventages to playing video games.
Our organs like eyes or ears can be unhealthy because of screen and ear phone.
And some games are so addictive so some students can be addicted in video games.
So I think we can't judge video games as bad or good thing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

The economy, culture, and livability of cities depend on their transportation infrastructure. Quality transportation options can help a city become a lively place, filled with opportunity. However, if public transit options are inadequate, people may have difficulties getting to jobs and social areas.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think there are adventages and disadventages to playing video games for kids.
>> I think there are advantages and disadvantages in kids playing video games. 

For the adventage, they can solve their stresses with playing video games.
>> One of the advantage is that it can release the stress of children . 

We can get sense of accomplishment if we get some items in the video games.
>> CORRECT

And their are a lot of studies that students have to do, so students have a lot of stresses.
>> Usually students have a lot of stress because of school. 

But there are disadventages to playing video games.
>>Despite all that, there are also some disadvantages. 

Our organs like eyes or ears can be unhealthy because of screen and ear phone.
>> Our eyes and ears can be affected because of the screens and earphones. 

And some games are so addictive so some students can be addicted in video games.
>> And some games are so addictive so some students tend to become addicted. 

So I think we can't judge video games as bad or good thing.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108777 Homewokr ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 851
108776 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 436
108775 Home work(5.21) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 593
108774 Cultures and traditions are different in each country so what... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 453
108773 Do you think the past was better than the present? Why or why... ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 376
108772 Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 390
108771 Cultures and traditions are different in each country so what... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 0
108770 What are the positive impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 0
108769 My favorite golf. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 1
108768 Are Koreans good at managing stress? À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 566
108767 Have you ever seen someone \"walked out\" in a meeting because... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 440
108766 What part of your country would you ideally like to live in? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 1
108765 What do you think makes \"A house\" into \"A home\"? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 1
108764 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 433
108763 What are the benefits of traveling? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 940
108762 Wrongfully convicted US brothers who spent 31 years in prison to... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 1
108761 Homework ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-05-22 1
108760 Homework ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-05-22 3
108759 How is beauty defines in your culture? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-22 452
108758 What\'s your most valued possession? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-22 467

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04