¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think playing video games are bad for kids? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-06-30 466

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think there are adventages and disadventages to playing video games for kids.
For the adventage, they can solve their stresses with playing video games.
We can get sense of accomplishment if we get some items in the video games.
And their are a lot of studies that students have to do, so students have a lot of stresses.
But there are disadventages to playing video games.
Our organs like eyes or ears can be unhealthy because of screen and ear phone.
And some games are so addictive so some students can be addicted in video games.
So I think we can't judge video games as bad or good thing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

The economy, culture, and livability of cities depend on their transportation infrastructure. Quality transportation options can help a city become a lively place, filled with opportunity. However, if public transit options are inadequate, people may have difficulties getting to jobs and social areas.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think there are adventages and disadventages to playing video games for kids.
>> I think there are advantages and disadvantages in kids playing video games. 

For the adventage, they can solve their stresses with playing video games.
>> One of the advantage is that it can release the stress of children . 

We can get sense of accomplishment if we get some items in the video games.
>> CORRECT

And their are a lot of studies that students have to do, so students have a lot of stresses.
>> Usually students have a lot of stress because of school. 

But there are disadventages to playing video games.
>>Despite all that, there are also some disadvantages. 

Our organs like eyes or ears can be unhealthy because of screen and ear phone.
>> Our eyes and ears can be affected because of the screens and earphones. 

And some games are so addictive so some students can be addicted in video games.
>> And some games are so addictive so some students tend to become addicted. 

So I think we can't judge video games as bad or good thing.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109481 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 783
109480 When a person spends most of his or her time working a job with... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 645
109479 Have you worked in a company that has a \"No Reference Policy\"?... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 409
109478 Do you think dreams have meanings? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 427
109477 When and where do you usually eat out? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 446
109476 What\'s the strangest dream you\'ve ever had? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 0
109475 What is your favorite holiday? Has your favorite holiday changed... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 469
109474 What do you want to improve/change in your personality? À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 469
109473 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 1
109472 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 390
109471 6/16 homework ³ª*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 522
109470 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 445
109469 What is a mistake that you would want to repeat? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 489
109468 HW ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 434
109467 What would you like to know about your country? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-18 424
109466 Are you currently raising a pet? If not, have you ever thought... ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-17 432
109465 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-17 3
109464 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-17 413
109463 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-17 415
109462 The most livable in my country ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-17 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04