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영작교정 게시판

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What do you think is the biggest change in how families are in your country?

작성자: 이*현
2021-07-04 263

회원님의 영작문

One of the biggest change is babies are fewer, because the couples who don't want baby are growing more.
There are young people who don't get married.
The reason is various.
I think one of the reason is that usually young people can't earn more money than when their parents are that age.
The house prices is growing highly, and the job spaces more lack in Korea.
The private education usually should be needed when growing a child in Korea, but the price is very expensive.
Although people graduated a university, some of them don't know what they want to do,
and they have a hard time to get appropriate job.
Many people can't have money or time enough to growing well their babies, even getting married.
Even if they have baby, many of them bear only one baby.
Therefore, Korea is getting old.
It is sad situation, but I think it is natural for young people who leave in modern Korea.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Kang!

This is a nice task for you.  You are making longer sentences as you write.  Go on! ^^


-T. Maine


One of the biggest change is babies are fewer, because the couples who don't want baby are growing more.

>>One of the biggest change is the number of infants being born because couples these days don't wnat to have children.
 There are young people who don't get married.

>>Correct.
 The reason is various. 

>>There are various reasosns for this.
 I think one of the reason is that usually young people can't earn more money than when their parents are that age.

>>I think one of the reasons is that usually young people can't earn more money than their parents when they were younger.
 The house prices is growing highly, and the job spaces more lack in Korea.

>>In addition, the cost of houses is increasing and there is the lack of jobs for citizens.
 The private education usually should be needed when growing a child in Korea, but the price is very expensive.

>>Private eduation is usually given to children, but it is also expensive.
 Although people graduated a university, some of them don't know what they want to do,
and they have a hard time to get appropriate job.

>>Although people graduated from a prestigious university, some of them don't know what job to do and have a hard time looking for an appropriate job.
 Many people can't have money or time enough to growing well their babies, even getting married.

>>Most people dont' have enough money or time to raise their babies well even if they are married.
 Even if they have baby, many of them bear only one baby.

>>Even if they have a baby, many still prefer to have one child.
 Therefore, Korea is getting old.

>>Therefore, I can say that in Korea bearing a child is an old idea.
 It is sad situation, but I think it is natural for young people who leave in modern Korea.

>>It is a sad reality, but I think it is normal for young people who live in the modern age of Korea.


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