¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think can the rich countries help the poor countries?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿ø
2021-07-05 242

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think rich countries help the poor countries not essential in democracy but each others helps so good. but when poor countries is given the help need so many effort. because rich countries can not forever help the poor countries.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Won! ^^

Your answer is a good point. That's actually a good solution but I think a lot of people would be against this because their hard earned money will be offered to other people. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think rich countries help the poor countries not essential in democracy but each others helps so good. 
>> I think rich countries helping poor countries is not essential in democracy although it would be a good help. 

but when poor countries is given the help need so many effort. 
>> When rich countries help poor countries it would require a lot of effort. 

because rich countries can not forever help the poor countries.
>> Rich countries can't help the poop countries forever. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110504 I think dogs are more loyal. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 209
110503 Homework 8.3 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 913
110502 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 250
110501 Who has inspired you the most? How did he or she inspire you? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 1
110500 Do you think it\'s necessary to move out of your parents house... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 244
110499 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 252
110498 How do you practice your English Proficiency? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 2
110497 4th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 2
110496 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 1
110495 Pandemic Casts pall over May Weddings À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 1
110494 Things You Do with Your Friends ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 200
110493 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 2
110492 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 0
110491 First person is alwalys my boy friend. Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 204
110490 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 1
110489 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 1
110488 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 1
110487 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 1
110486 What do you think of women\'s welfare in Korea nowadays? Has it... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 1
110485 Cyber bullying ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 301

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04