¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think can the rich countries help the poor countries?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿ø
2021-07-05 418

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think rich countries help the poor countries not essential in democracy but each others helps so good. but when poor countries is given the help need so many effort. because rich countries can not forever help the poor countries.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Won! ^^

Your answer is a good point. That's actually a good solution but I think a lot of people would be against this because their hard earned money will be offered to other people. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think rich countries help the poor countries not essential in democracy but each others helps so good. 
>> I think rich countries helping poor countries is not essential in democracy although it would be a good help. 

but when poor countries is given the help need so many effort. 
>> When rich countries help poor countries it would require a lot of effort. 

because rich countries can not forever help the poor countries.
>> Rich countries can't help the poop countries forever. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111390 What is my best experience in Boracay? ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 1
111389 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 509
111388 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 444
111387 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 1
111386 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 2
111385 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 2
111384 Homework😀 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 420
111383 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 475
111382 How do you manage a tight schedule? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 333
111381 Do you think it\'s disrespectful to argue with your elders? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 1
111380 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 2
111379 HOMEWORK : Why do women like shopping more than men? ¹Ú*Âù ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 5
111378 Do you think the age for driving should be raised or lowered? ¼Û*¾È ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 0
111377 Sentimental value ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 403
111376 What is special about your city? Tell me 3-5 things that a... È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 452
111375 What do you imagine are the best countries in which to raise a... ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 402
111374 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 2
111373 If you can eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 497
111372 Should refugees have equal rights with Koreans at work? Share... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 338
111371 Plz cancel today¡¯s class ¼Û*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 508

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04