¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿¬
2021-07-06 406

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Eggs can be used for many purposes.

First, We can use it to eat. and There are many ways to eat eggs. We can have fried eggs or boiled eggs.

Second, We also make bread or cake out of eggs.

Third, Our ancestors are used eggs to get rid of bruises. We somtimes use this way.

Fourth, Singers sometimes eat eggs to warm up their voices. But doesn't smell fishy if you eat raw eggs? haha

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello JENNY,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)


Eggs can be used for many purposes.
>>> CORRECT

First, We can use it to eat. and There are many ways to eat eggs. We can have fried eggs or boiled eggs.
>>> First, we can eat it and there are many ways to cook eggs. We can have fried eggs or boiled eggs.

Second, we also make bread or cake out of eggs.
>>> CORRECT
OR: Second, we can also bake bread and cakes using eggs as an ingredient.

Third, Our ancestors are used eggs to get rid of bruises. We somtimes use this way.
>>> Third, our ancestors used eggs to get rid of their bruises. We sometimes use it this way.

Fourth, Singers sometimes eat eggs to warm up their voices. But doesn't smell fishy if you eat raw eggs? haha
>>> Fourth, singers sometimes eat eggs to warm up their voices. But it doesn't smell fishy if you eat raw eggs.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111950 Do you believe that the rich are growing richer, and the poor... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 1
111949 32th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 1
111948 Law unfair to foreign performers À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 1
111947 My photos ÃÖ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 397
111946 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 2
111945 Self introduction ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 407
111944 Do you think people from your country usually eat healthy food? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 1
111943 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 6
111942 Do you have any concerns about your privacy online? Why? Why not? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 395
111941 home work 09/13 ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 2
111940 Is there a right time to give up and stop trying? Or should you... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 772
111939 How do you entertain your visitors? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 415
111938 What company policy or policies did you not agree with when you... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 1
111937 The reason that our family is very important. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 332
111936 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 806
111935 What is most important appointment nowadays? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 761
111934 What good advice can you give your friend about her situation? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 1
111933 What kind of food reminds you of your childhood and why? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 536
111932 What is your expected salary? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 521
111931 9.13 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04