¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿¬
2021-07-06 231

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Eggs can be used for many purposes.

First, We can use it to eat. and There are many ways to eat eggs. We can have fried eggs or boiled eggs.

Second, We also make bread or cake out of eggs.

Third, Our ancestors are used eggs to get rid of bruises. We somtimes use this way.

Fourth, Singers sometimes eat eggs to warm up their voices. But doesn't smell fishy if you eat raw eggs? haha

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello JENNY,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)


Eggs can be used for many purposes.
>>> CORRECT

First, We can use it to eat. and There are many ways to eat eggs. We can have fried eggs or boiled eggs.
>>> First, we can eat it and there are many ways to cook eggs. We can have fried eggs or boiled eggs.

Second, we also make bread or cake out of eggs.
>>> CORRECT
OR: Second, we can also bake bread and cakes using eggs as an ingredient.

Third, Our ancestors are used eggs to get rid of bruises. We somtimes use this way.
>>> Third, our ancestors used eggs to get rid of their bruises. We sometimes use it this way.

Fourth, Singers sometimes eat eggs to warm up their voices. But doesn't smell fishy if you eat raw eggs? haha
>>> Fourth, singers sometimes eat eggs to warm up their voices. But it doesn't smell fishy if you eat raw eggs.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110229 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-22 1
110228 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-22 254
110227 Are you a spender or a saver of money? Why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-22 240
110226 Do you think that endangered species should be kept in captive... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-22 2
110225 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-22 174
110224 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-22 2
110223 What kind of games or toys did you play when you were young? Do... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-22 209
110222 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-22 200
110221 Page 44 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-22 196
110220 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-22 199
110219 Have / If S had pp, ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-22 204
110218 HOMEWORK: ESSAY: Do you think smoking areas should be totally... ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-22 355
110217 Homework 7.22 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 247
110216 When is exercising too much? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 1
110215 How do you give or show thanks to your parents? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 0
110214 How can you describe your family in your own words? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 204
110213 Are you a spender or a saver? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 207
110212 If you were an American, what do you think you could have been... ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 0
110211 Homework (310) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 148
110210 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 771

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04