¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What country do you want to visit and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿µ
2021-07-06 428

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to visit England because I love England movie and drama such as Harry Potter and Sherlock Holmes. If I visit the country, I want to go to movie and drama set. The most reason why I want to go England is that I hope to go to college major in accounting and finance. England is famous for accounting and finance. Therefore, I'm going to be an international accountant working in UK.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yeong! ^^

That's actually a good choice. Europe is known for many great sceneries. The reasons for traveling to Europe are endless. As if its history, culture and natural beauty are not enough to draw you; the cuisine, the locals and the myriad of sights and wonders to see would be more than enough to suffice many visitors. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I want to visit England because I love England movie and drama such as Harry Potter and Sherlock Holmes. 
>> I want to visit England because I love the movies and dramas from that country such Harry Potter and Sherlock Holmes.

If I visit the country, I want to go to movie and drama set. 
>> If I visit the country, I want to go to a movie and drama set. 

The most reason why I want to go England is that I hope to go to college major in accounting and finance. 
>> The main reason why I want to go there is because I hope to study accountancy and financing in their colleges. 

England is famous for accounting and finance. 
>> CORRECT

Therefore, I'm going to be an international accountant working in UK.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112870 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 502
112869 12 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 395
112868 Jobs ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 1
112867 Have you ever decided to change the way you eat? Why? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 1
112866 What are your fears and how are you going to overcome them? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 634
112865 What are your fears and how are you going to overcome them? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 0
112864 What characteristics should we look for in a candidate who is... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 0
112863 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 383
112862 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 957
112861 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 359
112860 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 378
112859 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 2
112858 Do bad mannered people upset you? Tell me about your experience. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 0
112857 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 1
112856 Dancing ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 301
112855 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 404
112854 What do you like most about your culture? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 335
112853 Describe a healthy meal you have most of the time ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 1
112852 What are the things you\'re going to do when you retire? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 369
112851 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04