¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What country do you want to visit and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿µ
2021-07-06 257

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to visit England because I love England movie and drama such as Harry Potter and Sherlock Holmes. If I visit the country, I want to go to movie and drama set. The most reason why I want to go England is that I hope to go to college major in accounting and finance. England is famous for accounting and finance. Therefore, I'm going to be an international accountant working in UK.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yeong! ^^

That's actually a good choice. Europe is known for many great sceneries. The reasons for traveling to Europe are endless. As if its history, culture and natural beauty are not enough to draw you; the cuisine, the locals and the myriad of sights and wonders to see would be more than enough to suffice many visitors. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I want to visit England because I love England movie and drama such as Harry Potter and Sherlock Holmes. 
>> I want to visit England because I love the movies and dramas from that country such Harry Potter and Sherlock Holmes.

If I visit the country, I want to go to movie and drama set. 
>> If I visit the country, I want to go to a movie and drama set. 

The most reason why I want to go England is that I hope to go to college major in accounting and finance. 
>> The main reason why I want to go there is because I hope to study accountancy and financing in their colleges. 

England is famous for accounting and finance. 
>> CORRECT

Therefore, I'm going to be an international accountant working in UK.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109630 What do you need to prepare for? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-25 244
109629 If you retire in the future, what do you think would your life... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-25 226
109628 Did you ever want to be a model? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 2
109627 Homework (304) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 263
109626 6/23 homework ³ª*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 210
109625 You have an urgent message to your manager, but he is talking to... À¯*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 1
109624 homework : essay À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 3
109623 \"Confidence is a form of beauty that no makeup could fake.\" ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 1
109622 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 219
109621 Enjoying the festival ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 196
109620 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 231
109619 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 250
109618 Who is the bigger hero? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 223
109617 homework : essay À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 6
109616 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 2
109615 The black cat ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 239
109614 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 210
109613 If you retire in the future, what do you think would your life... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 1
109612 What\'s the worst food you ever ate in a restaurant? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 1
109611 If you retire in the future, what do you think would your life... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 243

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04