¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What country do you want to visit and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿µ
2021-07-06 405

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to visit England because I love England movie and drama such as Harry Potter and Sherlock Holmes. If I visit the country, I want to go to movie and drama set. The most reason why I want to go England is that I hope to go to college major in accounting and finance. England is famous for accounting and finance. Therefore, I'm going to be an international accountant working in UK.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yeong! ^^

That's actually a good choice. Europe is known for many great sceneries. The reasons for traveling to Europe are endless. As if its history, culture and natural beauty are not enough to draw you; the cuisine, the locals and the myriad of sights and wonders to see would be more than enough to suffice many visitors. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I want to visit England because I love England movie and drama such as Harry Potter and Sherlock Holmes. 
>> I want to visit England because I love the movies and dramas from that country such Harry Potter and Sherlock Holmes.

If I visit the country, I want to go to movie and drama set. 
>> If I visit the country, I want to go to a movie and drama set. 

The most reason why I want to go England is that I hope to go to college major in accounting and finance. 
>> The main reason why I want to go there is because I hope to study accountancy and financing in their colleges. 

England is famous for accounting and finance. 
>> CORRECT

Therefore, I'm going to be an international accountant working in UK.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109281 Plan to expand substitute holiday system gaining traction ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 406
109280 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 434
109279 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 473
109278 homework Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 416
109277 homework Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 393
109276 What have made you look pale? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 431
109275 If you were planning a party on a very small budget, what would... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 0
109274 How to love my family. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 431
109273 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 504
109272 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 393
109271 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 1
109270 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 515
109269 Is it OK to ask a person\'s age in your country? Why or why not? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 0
109268 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 1
109267 share presentaton for the feedback on today session ¾È*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 2
109266 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 549
109265 How do you motivate yourself? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 1
109264 HM ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 1
109263 Which activity have you tried one time and would never do again? È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 0
109262 Do people drive well in your country? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 6

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04