¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹é*Çö
2021-07-08 471

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If crime commit reason is poverty, it is not valid.
because, crime reason is under any circumstance is not acknowledgment.
crime can forgive, but crime can not acknowledgment.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Hyeon! ^^

One of the reasons that poverty has been associated with crime is because it is an opportunity for the poor to acquire materials that they could otherwise not afford. Poverty can also produce violent crimes because force is an easy way to get a large quantity of goods. Regardless of this, poverty is still not a valid reason to commit crime. Thanks for sharing your answer. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If crime commit reason is poverty, it is not valid.
>> If a person commits crime because of poverty, it is not a valid reason. 

because, crime reason is under any circumstance is not acknowledgment.
>> It is because crime should never be acknowledged under any circumstances. 

crime can forgive, but crime can not acknowledgment.
>> Crimes are forgivable but not be acknowledged due to poverty. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109538 Do you agree that dark chocolates are healthier than white... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-22 450
109537 What are the pros and cons of keeping a pet? Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-22 725
109536 Do you like energy drinks? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 3
109535 homework Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 513
109534 The best President ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 1
109533 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 439
109532 The solution of keeping my life balance ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 476
109531 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 4
109530 Am I a good person? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 489
109529 Homewokr ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 515
109528 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 0
109527 What are the physical effects of getting angry? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 2
109526 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 531
109525 Vice president! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 373
109524 Painting Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 420
109523 What dream of yours do you want to come true? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 483
109522 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 584
109521 What makes your city more special than the other ones in South... ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 0
109520 What Korean policy/law do you think should be removed? ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 0
109519 Diary 0621 ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04