¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹é*Çö
2021-07-08 515

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If crime commit reason is poverty, it is not valid.
because, crime reason is under any circumstance is not acknowledgment.
crime can forgive, but crime can not acknowledgment.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Hyeon! ^^

One of the reasons that poverty has been associated with crime is because it is an opportunity for the poor to acquire materials that they could otherwise not afford. Poverty can also produce violent crimes because force is an easy way to get a large quantity of goods. Regardless of this, poverty is still not a valid reason to commit crime. Thanks for sharing your answer. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If crime commit reason is poverty, it is not valid.
>> If a person commits crime because of poverty, it is not a valid reason. 

because, crime reason is under any circumstance is not acknowledgment.
>> It is because crime should never be acknowledged under any circumstances. 

crime can forgive, but crime can not acknowledgment.
>> Crimes are forgivable but not be acknowledged due to poverty. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109284 I like the citrus scent the most! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 550
109283 The extreme weather conditions ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 4
109282 If you were planning a party on a very small budget, what would... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 709
109281 Plan to expand substitute holiday system gaining traction ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 497
109280 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 556
109279 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 626
109278 homework Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 493
109277 homework Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 456
109276 What have made you look pale? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 575
109275 If you were planning a party on a very small budget, what would... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 0
109274 How to love my family. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 511
109273 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 604
109272 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 485
109271 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 1
109270 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 623
109269 Is it OK to ask a person\'s age in your country? Why or why not? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 0
109268 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 1
109267 share presentaton for the feedback on today session ¾È*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 2
109266 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 589
109265 How do you motivate yourself? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04