무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What makes a city great to live in?

작성자: 고*희
2021-07-09 286

회원님의 영작문

There are several things that makes a city great to live in: convenient facilities and organized transportation system. Above all, convenient facilities like hospital, supermarket, shopping mall etc. make people live a better quality of life. For example, they can go to hospital easily although they get sick at midnight. The accessibility to convenient facilities is an important thing to have a easier life.
Secondly, organized transportation system makes people move to other part of the city without any traffic jam. So, people don't need to have a car if there is organized transportation system in the city. Furthermore, they can trip for other cities on holidays with this transportation system.
Of course, to satisfy these conditions, a city needs big population. And it makes people live harder to compete with other people to get a job, to deal with much more garbage, and to handle crowds especially in COVID situation. So, this is dilemma to be a great city to live in.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용


Hi Jun Hui, thank you for this. Have a great day!
Jasmin 

There are several things that makes a city great to live in: convenient facilities and organized transportation system.
>>There are many things that makes a city great to live in, if it's convenient and with organized transportation system. 
Above all, convenient facilities like hospital, supermarket, shopping mall etc. make people live a better quality of life.
>>Above all, establishments like hospital, supermarket, shopping mall, etc. they are suitable for ones purpose or needs. 
For example, they can go to hospital easily although they get sick at midnight.
>>For example, they can go to the hospital easily in emergency situations. 
The accessibility to convenient facilities is an important thing to have a easier life.
>> There are many advantages and benefits of living in the cities and the most important of it is the convenient facilities. 
Secondly, organized transportation system makes people move to other part of the city without any traffic jam.
>>Secondly, organized mass transportation system that makes it easier for people to travel.  
So, people don't need to have a car if there is organized transportation system in the city.
>>So, people don't need to have a car if there is a convenient mass transportation system in the city. 
Furthermore, they can trip for other cities on holidays with this transportation system.
>>Furthermore, they can have a safe and faster trip in another cities during holidays. 
Of course, to satisfy these conditions, a city needs big population.
>>You will meet several new people because of the population and opportunities you'll have in a big city. 
And it makes people live harder to compete with other people to get a job, to deal with much more garbage, and to handle crowds especially in COVID situation.
>>There's going to have a lot of competition especially in job opportunities, we need to deal with plenty of waste, and we need to control the crowds especially this pandemic season. 
 So, this is dilemma to be a great city to live in.
>>These are some of the dilemmas that we face in bigger cities. 
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
111053 What is your idea of a perfect vacation? / What exotic foods do... 하*윤 완료 2021-08-19 392
111052 Homework 심*상 완료 2021-08-19 244
111051 How do you think face-to-face communication differs from... 노*이 완료 2021-08-19 1
111050 숙제 김*비 완료 2021-08-19 279
111049 Fill in the blanks 이*윤 완료 2021-08-19 312
111048 What exotic foods do you want to try and why? 권*미 완료 2021-08-19 293
111047 Female students in our class do better! 김*랑 완료 2021-08-19 371
111046 Why do you think body language is important? 류*주 완료 2021-08-19 278
111045 Thursday homework 류*우 완료 2021-08-19 260
111044 Globalization is positive for economies but its negative sides... 황*하 완료 2021-08-19 270
111043 If for the first time, you would experience a racial... 정*우 완료 2021-08-19 272
111042 Homework 윤*임 완료 2021-08-19 254
111041 Does your hometown have any festivals? What happens at that... 노*이 완료 2021-08-19 3
111040 What other country do you want to travel after COVID 19? 안*윤 완료 2021-08-19 6
111039 My homework 전*선 완료 2021-08-19 303
111038 I can\'t patient for an mc-morning 정*아 완료 2021-08-19 264
111037 cv 박*광 완료 2021-08-19 2
111036 Homework 심*성 완료 2021-08-19 2
111035 Would you send a dish back if it did not taste good or if you... 김*연 완료 2021-08-19 1
111034 Sightseeing flights take passengers over Dokdo on Liberaton Day 유*진 완료 2021-08-19 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]