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What makes a city great to live in?

작성자: 고*희
2021-07-09 421

회원님의 영작문

There are several things that makes a city great to live in: convenient facilities and organized transportation system. Above all, convenient facilities like hospital, supermarket, shopping mall etc. make people live a better quality of life. For example, they can go to hospital easily although they get sick at midnight. The accessibility to convenient facilities is an important thing to have a easier life.
Secondly, organized transportation system makes people move to other part of the city without any traffic jam. So, people don't need to have a car if there is organized transportation system in the city. Furthermore, they can trip for other cities on holidays with this transportation system.
Of course, to satisfy these conditions, a city needs big population. And it makes people live harder to compete with other people to get a job, to deal with much more garbage, and to handle crowds especially in COVID situation. So, this is dilemma to be a great city to live in.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용


Hi Jun Hui, thank you for this. Have a great day!
Jasmin 

There are several things that makes a city great to live in: convenient facilities and organized transportation system.
>>There are many things that makes a city great to live in, if it's convenient and with organized transportation system. 
Above all, convenient facilities like hospital, supermarket, shopping mall etc. make people live a better quality of life.
>>Above all, establishments like hospital, supermarket, shopping mall, etc. they are suitable for ones purpose or needs. 
For example, they can go to hospital easily although they get sick at midnight.
>>For example, they can go to the hospital easily in emergency situations. 
The accessibility to convenient facilities is an important thing to have a easier life.
>> There are many advantages and benefits of living in the cities and the most important of it is the convenient facilities. 
Secondly, organized transportation system makes people move to other part of the city without any traffic jam.
>>Secondly, organized mass transportation system that makes it easier for people to travel.  
So, people don't need to have a car if there is organized transportation system in the city.
>>So, people don't need to have a car if there is a convenient mass transportation system in the city. 
Furthermore, they can trip for other cities on holidays with this transportation system.
>>Furthermore, they can have a safe and faster trip in another cities during holidays. 
Of course, to satisfy these conditions, a city needs big population.
>>You will meet several new people because of the population and opportunities you'll have in a big city. 
And it makes people live harder to compete with other people to get a job, to deal with much more garbage, and to handle crowds especially in COVID situation.
>>There's going to have a lot of competition especially in job opportunities, we need to deal with plenty of waste, and we need to control the crowds especially this pandemic season. 
 So, this is dilemma to be a great city to live in.
>>These are some of the dilemmas that we face in bigger cities. 
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