¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Friday homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2021-07-09 221

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q:What are some reasons that people become homeless?
A:I think it's because they have not enough money for live.
First, if they become homeless, then some people give them some foods or money.
Second, if they become homeless, then they don't have to buy their house and foods themselves.
Lastly, I think they will buy something they need with their money someday, because they can't live homeless all times.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I think it's because they have not enough money for live.

>> I think it's because they don't have enough money to live in a house.
First, if they become homeless, then some people give them some foods or money.

>> If they become homeless, some people will give them some food or money.
Second, if they become homeless, then they don't have to buy their house and foods themselves.

>> If that is the case, then they become lazy to buy a house or food for themselves.
Lastly, I think they will buy something they need with their money someday, because they can't live homeless all times.

>> I think they will buy things that they need with their money someday, because they can't be homeless forever.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109887 How would you want to spend a long holiday? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 167
109886 conversation À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 196
109885 What is the beginning of conversation? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 220
109884 Why do people sometimes feel afraid to express their real... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 240
109883 What illegal trade does your country have? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 1
109882 What kind of support should children give their aging parents? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 215
109881 homework on July 7 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 2
109880 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 1
109879 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 0
109878 What one thing do you want to change about yourself? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 216
109877 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 219
109876 Homrwork ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 249
109875 HeforShe Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 206
109874 What are the advantages and disadvantages of working with a... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 265
109873 My dream house ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 1
109872 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 239
109871 South Korean remaining in Afghanistan urged to leave by July :... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 1
109870 What are the good effects and bad effects of junk food? ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 202
109869 How can we prevent or avoid having a vice? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 756
109868 Some people today prefer to get advice for medical problems and... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 202

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04