¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Friday homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2021-07-09 243

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q:What are some reasons that people become homeless?
A:I think it's because they have not enough money for live.
First, if they become homeless, then some people give them some foods or money.
Second, if they become homeless, then they don't have to buy their house and foods themselves.
Lastly, I think they will buy something they need with their money someday, because they can't live homeless all times.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I think it's because they have not enough money for live.

>> I think it's because they don't have enough money to live in a house.
First, if they become homeless, then some people give them some foods or money.

>> If they become homeless, some people will give them some food or money.
Second, if they become homeless, then they don't have to buy their house and foods themselves.

>> If that is the case, then they become lazy to buy a house or food for themselves.
Lastly, I think they will buy something they need with their money someday, because they can't live homeless all times.

>> I think they will buy things that they need with their money someday, because they can't be homeless forever.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109632 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-25 237
109631 Do you need a bucket list? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-25 212
109630 What do you need to prepare for? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-25 234
109629 If you retire in the future, what do you think would your life... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-25 212
109628 Did you ever want to be a model? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 2
109627 Homework (304) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 252
109626 6/23 homework ³ª*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 202
109625 You have an urgent message to your manager, but he is talking to... À¯*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 1
109624 homework : essay À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 3
109623 \"Confidence is a form of beauty that no makeup could fake.\" ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 1
109622 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 213
109621 Enjoying the festival ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 189
109620 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 218
109619 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 240
109618 Who is the bigger hero? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 215
109617 homework : essay À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 6
109616 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 2
109615 The black cat ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 232
109614 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 207
109613 If you retire in the future, what do you think would your life... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04