¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿¬
2021-07-11 378

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, if a child wants to stop having nightmares, he or she can stop having nightmares by creating a lot of hobbies and doing a lot of things he or she wants to do.

And I think the cause of nightmares is stress, because when you're stressed, when you're having nightmares, you're stressed, and you can't stop nightmares.

And if you're having a nightmare because you have a trauma, I think it'll be helpful to find out how to cure it.

Actually, I don't know because I had not many nightmares.....

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jenny,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



In my opinion, if a child wants to stop having nightmares, he or she can stop having nightmares by creating a lot of hobbies and doing a lot of things he or she wants to do.
>>> In my opinion, if a child wants to stop having nightmares, he or she can stop having them by doing a lot of hobbies and a lot of things that he or she wants to do.

And I think the cause of nightmares is stress, because when you're stressed, when you're having nightmares, you're stressed, and you can't stop nightmares.
>>> I think the main cause of nightmares is stress, because when you're stressed, then you'll having nightmares. When you're stressed, you can't stop having nightmares.

And if you're having a nightmare because you have a trauma, I think it'll be helpful to find out how to cure it.
>>> CORRECT
OR: If you're having a nightmare because you have a trauma, I think it'll be helpful to find out how to cure it by seeking a professional expert. 

Actually, I don't know because I had not many nightmares.....
>>> Actually, I don't know because I had no experience with nightmares before. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111055 The meaning of silence ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 257
111054 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 1
111053 What is your idea of a perfect vacation? / What exotic foods do... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 340
111052 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 241
111051 How do you think face-to-face communication differs from... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 1
111050 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 228
111049 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 295
111048 What exotic foods do you want to try and why? ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 245
111047 Female students in our class do better! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 350
111046 Why do you think body language is important? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 263
111045 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 198
111044 Globalization is positive for economies but its negative sides... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 261
111043 If for the first time, you would experience a racial... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 255
111042 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 212
111041 Does your hometown have any festivals? What happens at that... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 3
111040 What other country do you want to travel after COVID 19? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 6
111039 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 266
111038 I can\'t patient for an mc-morning Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 247
111037 cv ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 2
111036 Homework ½É*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04