¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿¬
2021-07-11 365

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, if a child wants to stop having nightmares, he or she can stop having nightmares by creating a lot of hobbies and doing a lot of things he or she wants to do.

And I think the cause of nightmares is stress, because when you're stressed, when you're having nightmares, you're stressed, and you can't stop nightmares.

And if you're having a nightmare because you have a trauma, I think it'll be helpful to find out how to cure it.

Actually, I don't know because I had not many nightmares.....

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jenny,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



In my opinion, if a child wants to stop having nightmares, he or she can stop having nightmares by creating a lot of hobbies and doing a lot of things he or she wants to do.
>>> In my opinion, if a child wants to stop having nightmares, he or she can stop having them by doing a lot of hobbies and a lot of things that he or she wants to do.

And I think the cause of nightmares is stress, because when you're stressed, when you're having nightmares, you're stressed, and you can't stop nightmares.
>>> I think the main cause of nightmares is stress, because when you're stressed, then you'll having nightmares. When you're stressed, you can't stop having nightmares.

And if you're having a nightmare because you have a trauma, I think it'll be helpful to find out how to cure it.
>>> CORRECT
OR: If you're having a nightmare because you have a trauma, I think it'll be helpful to find out how to cure it by seeking a professional expert. 

Actually, I don't know because I had not many nightmares.....
>>> Actually, I don't know because I had no experience with nightmares before. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110890 Are you comfortable wearing a dress? ¼Û*¾È ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 0
110889 Covid-19 ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-15 2
110888 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-15 200
110887 Home work ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-15 308
110886 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-15 319
110885 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-15 301
110884 Tradition ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-15 1
110883 If it was your birthday, what gift do you want to receive and... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-15 231
110882 Name three countries you will never visit and why? ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-15 313
110881 Page 34 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-14 179
110880 Does color affect your emotions? ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-14 248
110879 If it was your birthday, what gift do you want to receive and... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-14 2
110878 homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-14 285
110877 Have you ever had a job interview before? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 3
110876 Tell me something about your memorable experience at our school. ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 260
110875 What is your philosophy in life? - interview answer ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 275
110874 What is one thing you\'ve never done but would like to do? È«*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 5
110873 Do you think going to different academies is important for... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 227
110872 Use \"scenery\" and \"visit\" in correct sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 248
110871 Homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 362

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04