¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿¬
2021-07-11 322

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, if a child wants to stop having nightmares, he or she can stop having nightmares by creating a lot of hobbies and doing a lot of things he or she wants to do.

And I think the cause of nightmares is stress, because when you're stressed, when you're having nightmares, you're stressed, and you can't stop nightmares.

And if you're having a nightmare because you have a trauma, I think it'll be helpful to find out how to cure it.

Actually, I don't know because I had not many nightmares.....

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jenny,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



In my opinion, if a child wants to stop having nightmares, he or she can stop having nightmares by creating a lot of hobbies and doing a lot of things he or she wants to do.
>>> In my opinion, if a child wants to stop having nightmares, he or she can stop having them by doing a lot of hobbies and a lot of things that he or she wants to do.

And I think the cause of nightmares is stress, because when you're stressed, when you're having nightmares, you're stressed, and you can't stop nightmares.
>>> I think the main cause of nightmares is stress, because when you're stressed, then you'll having nightmares. When you're stressed, you can't stop having nightmares.

And if you're having a nightmare because you have a trauma, I think it'll be helpful to find out how to cure it.
>>> CORRECT
OR: If you're having a nightmare because you have a trauma, I think it'll be helpful to find out how to cure it by seeking a professional expert. 

Actually, I don't know because I had not many nightmares.....
>>> Actually, I don't know because I had no experience with nightmares before. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110695 Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think... Çã*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 249
110694 Favorite tourist attraction ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 248
110693 What are your strengths to be able to enter the international... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 247
110692 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 0
110691 Can violent conflicts be solved with violence? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 3
110690 Who do you disagree more? Stella or Carter? ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 214
110689 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 1
110688 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 232
110687 Best Invention Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 211
110686 Writer\'s Block Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 196
110685 What kind of device should be invented in order for our lives to... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 283
110684 killing of animals ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 1
110683 18 page ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 182
110682 What could be an interesting indoor activity that you want to... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 284
110681 Worht dishes Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 203
110680 Have you ever heard about the Islamic banking concept of... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 214
110679 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 1
110678 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 1
110677 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 1
110676 home work on Aug 6 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04