¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿¬
2021-07-11 276

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, if a child wants to stop having nightmares, he or she can stop having nightmares by creating a lot of hobbies and doing a lot of things he or she wants to do.

And I think the cause of nightmares is stress, because when you're stressed, when you're having nightmares, you're stressed, and you can't stop nightmares.

And if you're having a nightmare because you have a trauma, I think it'll be helpful to find out how to cure it.

Actually, I don't know because I had not many nightmares.....

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jenny,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



In my opinion, if a child wants to stop having nightmares, he or she can stop having nightmares by creating a lot of hobbies and doing a lot of things he or she wants to do.
>>> In my opinion, if a child wants to stop having nightmares, he or she can stop having them by doing a lot of hobbies and a lot of things that he or she wants to do.

And I think the cause of nightmares is stress, because when you're stressed, when you're having nightmares, you're stressed, and you can't stop nightmares.
>>> I think the main cause of nightmares is stress, because when you're stressed, then you'll having nightmares. When you're stressed, you can't stop having nightmares.

And if you're having a nightmare because you have a trauma, I think it'll be helpful to find out how to cure it.
>>> CORRECT
OR: If you're having a nightmare because you have a trauma, I think it'll be helpful to find out how to cure it by seeking a professional expert. 

Actually, I don't know because I had not many nightmares.....
>>> Actually, I don't know because I had no experience with nightmares before. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110287 homework ¹é*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 198
110286 What do you like about hiking? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 5
110285 What do you like about cooking? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 4
110284 Homework😄😄😄😀 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 319
110283 Why do you think people celebrate Thanksgiving Day? ¿ì*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 234
110282 Homework ¿ì*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 212
110281 Buddist monks fied for breaching social distancing guidelines À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 1
110280 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 5
110279 home work on July 26 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 2
110278 . ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 206
110277 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 272
110276 Unit2 homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 198
110275 What were the decisions you wish you never made? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 206
110274 If you can make your own holiday, what would it be? When should... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 176
110273 If you can make your own holiday, what would it be? When should... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-25 0
110272 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-25 236
110271 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-24 220
110270 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-24 260
110269 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-24 223
110268 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-24 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04