¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿¬
2021-07-11 559

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, if a child wants to stop having nightmares, he or she can stop having nightmares by creating a lot of hobbies and doing a lot of things he or she wants to do.

And I think the cause of nightmares is stress, because when you're stressed, when you're having nightmares, you're stressed, and you can't stop nightmares.

And if you're having a nightmare because you have a trauma, I think it'll be helpful to find out how to cure it.

Actually, I don't know because I had not many nightmares.....

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jenny,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



In my opinion, if a child wants to stop having nightmares, he or she can stop having nightmares by creating a lot of hobbies and doing a lot of things he or she wants to do.
>>> In my opinion, if a child wants to stop having nightmares, he or she can stop having them by doing a lot of hobbies and a lot of things that he or she wants to do.

And I think the cause of nightmares is stress, because when you're stressed, when you're having nightmares, you're stressed, and you can't stop nightmares.
>>> I think the main cause of nightmares is stress, because when you're stressed, then you'll having nightmares. When you're stressed, you can't stop having nightmares.

And if you're having a nightmare because you have a trauma, I think it'll be helpful to find out how to cure it.
>>> CORRECT
OR: If you're having a nightmare because you have a trauma, I think it'll be helpful to find out how to cure it by seeking a professional expert. 

Actually, I don't know because I had not many nightmares.....
>>> Actually, I don't know because I had no experience with nightmares before. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111329 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 452
111328 This, that, these, or those ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 2
111327 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 4
111326 Is it possible to avoid conflicts totally in our life? Why or... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 1
111325 20th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 1
111324 Public remains poles aprt over accepting Afghan refugees À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 1
111323 homework »ç* ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 0
111322 What would you say are your biggest air travel pet peeves? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 571
111321 Some believe children should be taught to give speeches and... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 797
111320 Most people say the book is better than the movie. Is this true... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 1
111319 If you had 3 wishes, what would it be and why? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 465
111318 My mom\'s favorite flower ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 402
111317 Which country do you \"NOT WISH\" to visit? È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 483
111316 What country would you want to be a million miles away from... ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 5
111315 What makes someone beautiful. ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 427
111314 In the future, I need to learn more about expressions that are... ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 380
111313 Homework(*0v0*) Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 445
111312 Everyone in the family looks great, right? ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 444
111311 8.26 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 2
111310 3 homework. -jenny- ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 355

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04